0151-Girlz: A Discussion of Heteronormativity by Niamh Crilly

Hello,

Today I've decided to discuss a topic that bothers me deeply. As a 16 year old female, who is very informed and accepting of the changes in our society, I find it very easy to never assume. However, I am also aware that many do not necessarily have the same thought process. 

Heteronormativity is the belief that people are either female or male and that heterosexuality is the default orientation; basically the assumption that males are attracted to females and females are attracted to males. But this isn't the case at all.

In England and Wales alone, 5,841 hate crimes motivated by a person's sexual orientation were committed within the past year. This is an astounding figure ultimately carried out by homophobia and heteronormativity is a contributing factor to this extreme problem. Generations after generations assume their children and friends are straight and the cycle of expectations strengthens.

This is not at all acceptable. We need to collectively make an effort to teach our social circle that we are all different.

No sexual orientation is expected and no sexual orientation is strange. 

 If I had to pass on one message to people of my generation, it would be to never assume someone's sexuality and to accept all sexualities. Also, never ever take your families possible older generational views as correct! Just because your grandma or dad maintain that the norm is to be straight doesn't mean it's the case- it definitely isn't. 

If we, as a generation, follow these ideas then the equality between people who identify as heterosexual and part of the LGBTQ+ community decreases. People who identify as LGBTQ+ will feel pressured to 'come out' and announce their sexuality whereas people who are straight aren't expected to do the same. This teaches society that it isn't normal to identify as LGBTQ+ when in reality it's something to be proud of. Just like any sexuality is something to be proud of.

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I recently posted a request on my instagram story asking for personal accounts from people who have struggled with their sexuality due to the pressures of society and how this had made/makes them feel.

I am including an anonymous account in the hope that it will push someone to rethink their opinions or that it will be passed on to someone who finds heterosexuality as the only norm. Please take notes on the negative effects that heteronormativity as on young members of society and share it with anyone that you can.

I will be sharing parts of an account from a 16 year old, bisexual, female. I believe that they have truly captured the effects of society. 

" I don’t feel like I’m the sort of person who cares a lot about what people think of me, but when it comes to my sexuality I think it’s a completely different story, even now I find myself wishing I was straight just so I could avoid the conversations that make me feel so ridiculously uncomfortable. "

I believe that this is the most upsetting effect of societal expectations as it teaches people to believe that there is something internally 'wrong' with themselves. 

Why are we teaching future generations that they should be worried about who they are? Why are we establishing a formula for how people identify? Why are taking people's mental health into our own hands?

"  For me, I wish the whole LGBTQ+ community was just more normalised, I know things have changed in so many amazing ways but I still feel so judged by so many people and I still feel held back by stereotypes and people saying “wow you don’t look gay”. "

This is what we need to work towards. If you identify as heterosexual, you wouldn't want to be viewed as abnormal which is completely understandable.

Since when did a sexuality have an appearance anyway? I don't recall being told that I had to dress in coherence with my sexuality. 

"  I hope that with every generation we become more tolerant and I do think that that is happening, but definitely not quick enough. I think schools should be a lot more proactive in teaching young people.. "

I hope this happens too. I completely agree that this is partly an educational problem as these negative expectations should be completely avoided in school.

I attend an all girls Catholic secondary school and these negative expectations can become secretly apparent. It is definitely not as far as homophobia but there seems to be a slight awkwardness around other sexualities. I'm not exactly sure why but I believe a lot of students can feel this same awkwardness when different sexualities come up in conversation.

I believe the educational system need to dedicate time to the issues of society regarding sexual orientation and make it regular conversation, just like heterosexuality is. Teachers can often ask harmless and jovial questions in class such as, 'what are you and your boyfriend's doing for valentine's day?' 

However, what if people in the class have aren't doing anything with their boyfriends but with their girlfriends? These students may feel self conscious or awkward as their sexuality wasn't even acknowledged within the conversation.

In summary, DO NOT be the person to make another feel ashamed of their sexuality and DO NOT be the person that makes someone feel that they have to 'come out.'

Thanks so much for reading everyone, Niamh Crilly x