Learning to Ignore the Scales and Be Happy

Hii,

After a much needed writing break since finishing my degree I am finally at it again. I've been thinking of writing this post for a while now as I wanted to address an issue that I feel like I've been dealing with for some time, give some advice and maybe just let one other person know that there is someone else who has experienced the same thing (because I felt like it was just me making life hard for myself for quite a while).

*trigger warning* surrounding eating and weight 

I'm never usually one for new years resolutions but one of my goals for 2019 was to gain weight in a healthy way. I've somewhat struggled with eating and my weight since I was around 14 and towards the end of 2018, due to personal and uni-related stresses, I completely lost my appetite and I went down to 45kg (the same weight I was in year 9). 

I knew I had to do something about this before it spiralled and now 8 months into 2019, after getting myself into a healthier eating routine and going to the gym around 3/4 times a week, I am now 52.5kg and almost at my goal of being a healthy weight for my height. 

However, despite this meaning to be something positive, I still often found myself slipping into the habit of feeling bad for seeing an increase on the scale and I found it hard to switch from seeing weight gain as something negative to seeing is as a positive, even though I felt (and feel) the most confident, healthy and happy I ever have. 

This came as a real surprise to me as I'd seen people go on more severe journeys than me and yet they made the entire experience seem positive, which made me once again question my sense of body image. Since then I have completely stopped weighing myself and I am just trying to keep up what I have done for the past 8 months and I feel A LOT happier with myself. Although weighing works for some, for me and I imagine many others it really doesn't as we have been raised to see the scales as a place that defines your self worth or your health and it really, really doesn't. 

I wanted to discuss this because the majority of people who read my blog are around 16-23 and during this time your body goes through a lot of changes regarding size and shape.

It's taken me a loooong time to realise this, from trying to lose weight to trying to gain weight but if you have any goal you a trying to meet, that goal should be to feel confident, healthy and happy in your own body and it shouldn't be down to a number on a scale or tape measure going up or down. If you are trying to lose weight or gain weight don't let a number give you a bad day or a bad week because it's really not worth it. If you feel good then just keep doing what ya doing.

ps. I know it's a cliché but I really cannot recommend the gym enough for helping you mentally and physically. I've been going on and off for a few years but this year is the first year I've had a routine and it's helped me with so much.

If anyone has anything they want to talk about regarding this then the DMs are always open :) 

Stay healthy and happy. 

Rach x